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| so im kind of tired of these new facebook applications popping up everywhere. and yes, shutup. i know that ive accepted every single one ever sent to me. i cant help it. its like... a drug. i was drugged by the facebook gods because they are angry with me. no... nevermind. thats unlikely. why would anyone ever be angry with me?? dont think i have forgotten my sweet sweet myspace. which btw i still slightly prefer over facebook. i would love nothing more than to NOT argue this with all the facebook worshippers out there. so please do not address me on this subject. because i will personally poke you in the right eye. and then you will only be able to see with your left eye. and you will have NO depth perception!!! thats how i roll. TFD: there are so many things in life i want to know. when i die, i can only hope that God will answer all my questions. for instance; i thought it would always be interesting to know statistics on my own life. say... how many grapes ive eaten. or... how many times i mispelled the word "pteradactyl." or the longest i ever went, in my lifetime, without wearing pants... you know, just normal stuff like that. being the philanthropist i am, i have decided to bestow upon my readers a gift. seeing that my writing appeals only to the most intellectual of crowds. so lets say youre bored and someone comes up to you and you dont feel like talking, yes? proceed to take everything the person says literally and enthusiastically. i tried this just the other day. it went something like this: person: oh man. i just finished a game of horse and i was doing PRETTY well. me: oh really now? since when did u get good at horse? (i said mockingly) person: no seriously! im on fire. me: STOP DROP AND ROLL! HOLD ON ILL BE RIGHT BACK! [i ran out of the room] me: [i reenter the room with a pale of water dump it on the person and tackle him] needless to say, we dont talk much anymore. if you see a dead alligator, dont go near it. it probably isnt dead. what if godzilla was just misunderstood? i wonder if anyone has ever committed suicide just because they were really really excited about heaven. when the magnetic polls switch, it is likely that it will wipe life off the face of the earth. if not that it will destroy anything that emits an emf (electromagnetic field) including pacemakers. sucks for those people. i wonder if anybody actually reads all of this. if i worked at a soup kitchen, would i be allowed to have some of the soup? why do people in the military walk around in camo when theyre not in the field. like ull see them at restaurants and stores and stuff. i mean... yeah represent and stuff but... ud think after years of wearing the same thing that theyd want to change. if my style of typing (internet typing using lower case "i's" and saying things like "ud think") offends you... frankly... i dnt care. what do you get when you cross an owl... with a bungee cord?? leave a comment if you know the answer. ever since i was little, i wanted to be a standup comedian. but thats kind of unstable (financially) so i went with the next best thing. financial advisory. see that train of thought? because i dont. theres no one i love more than my readers. except for my best friend... and my dogs... and cats... and my family... and all my other friends... and girls in general... and cake. thank you for reading. i appreciate your support. -Adam Drennan (a.k.a. 50 perCENT) | | |
| Are you here because you love me or just for my crazy anecdotes? well this is the part where i tell you whats happening with me before i get into that stuff. hey nothing in life is free. except myspace... and facebook... and xanga... and ice-cream samples at cold stone creamery. well i went to UNT orientation a week ago. honestly i was fine before, but now im nervous. its starting to set in. a lot of stuff has been going on. im taking a speed reading course. so far ive been to one 3 hour class. I am now able to read very quickly and not remember any of it. my goal is to be like one of those robots who looks at a page, blinks, and instantly processes all the information on the page. but… baby steps for now. baby steps. I havent written in a while, and I was starting to feel empty inside. It feels good 2 get ur thoughts down on paper every once in a while. TFD: if you are EVER granted a wish. do NOT wish for the power to fly. wish for telekinesis. that way… u can lift yourself (therefore fly) AND you can move stuff with your mind. yeah u can thank me later. I want to be in a plane crash… but not get hurt. and well… have no one else get hurt too. and I want us to all crash like… wherever I wanted to be. that way I get my money back on the flight… and im pretty sure theyd pay for my flight back. thatd be awesome. so I hear that companies go to prospective employees myspaces and facebooks to check them out. what happens if they don’t have one? does the company call you:
company: hey! whats wrong with you?
you: what? what are you talking about?
company: what, u don’t have a myspace?
you: no
company: facebook?
you: no
company: xanga???
you: uhhh no.
company: sorry but… we cant hire you.
you: what?! why not?
*dial tone* if you are EVER granted a wish. do NOT wish for the power to fly. wish for telekinesis. that way… u can lift yourself (therefore fly) AND you can move stuff with your mind. yeah u can thank me later. i hate what advertising has done to me. it makes me think I need things that, not only do I not need, but that I don’t want. i remember watching tv one day and then saying out loud, “I NEED that tissue box!” that was the day I realized… im a chump. I was walking through the store the other day, and, being the browser that I am, I was reading various boxes and products on the aisles when I came upon a “high velocity air circulator.” I thought to myself, “FASCINATING!” it had specs and features on the side explaining the superior cooling mechanisms and impressive rpm’s it had. I, on the verge of putting the product in my cart had an epiphany… “heyyyy wait a second… its just a fan!” high velocity air circulator? whats next? are we going to start calling cars “gas powered human transporters”? or should we call water bottles “hydrogen dioxide containment apparatuses” ive been on the phone with tech support a combined total of 8 hours over the past 2 days. im not happy about it. people tell me I look like ben stiller. they say I could be his illegitimate son. alas im not entirely pleased with my blog thus far. it is not giving me the usual zest for writing that I revel in on that rare occasion that I construct a blog entry. anyone who can decipher this encryption perfectly I will award 10 dollars. (only to the first person who deciphers it). INAGSB.
LUDEKHDIA.
INSTIWTJAG.
ISWABFSSACG.
WCIHSSTHAK.
DYKTIHNKAG? seriously. 10 smackaroos (US dollars) to the first person who gets that one right. couch – 200 dollars
flat screen tv – 2000 dollars
fancy champagne from 1932 – 253 dollars
burning it all in front of homeless people just to see the expression on their faces – priceless
haha you didn’t know where I was going with that did you? well that’s all for me homes -Adam (aka 50 perCENT) | | |
| Wow… highschool is over. I honestly don't know what to do with myself. Originally i was planning on just doing a myspace entry full of anchorman quotes, but then i said NAY! I want to be original. TFD: I hate people who say funny things that were originally said by other people and they try to pull it off as their own. I heard someone quote demetri martin and pretend like they just came up with that on the spot. So i punched him in the face and said, "THAT'S FOR DEMETRI!" then he got up and was like, "YOU WANT SOME OF THIS PUNK???" he pulled out a knife. And i was like, oh yeah? I pulled out TWO knives. And he was like "oh yeah?" and he pulled out a gun. So i was like "oh yeah? Look behind you!" and he did. So i kicked him in the back and ran away. (i never lie) It was so humid yesterday, i coulda done slip and slide on the concrete. I mean i could have actually drowned just by going outside. It was terrible. Today wasn't much better. I went running today (without a shirt on. Woo hoo! Cmon i needed a tan. I look like freaking casper.) and it was soooo humid. But ya know what? I didn't get one "whoop"! it was a 30 freagin minute run. I used to run all the time and people would hang out of their cars and scream! Now today i got nothing. Stupid flower mound. I went running with my dog tho. Hes half hound half beagle and he weighs 61 pounds. So i thought the exercise would be good for em. i was stupid when i was a kid. I used to think the word "vehicle" was pronounced "behicle". I also used to think that writers block was an actual disease that you could contract, and stayed away from people who said they had it. Haha my best friend called me a computer nerd today. I put some new pix up. That's always fun. Theyre from yesterday, mollie john-michael Melissa and i all partied like crazy. Good stuff ya know? Ron where are you?
IM IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOOOOTTTIOOONNNNN!!! Bleeding is annoying. Ya know? Like just from the finger or something. Not the pain part… its just gross. And it gets on stuff. Its even worse when u don't know that ur bleeding. Then u look like u killed someone cuz uve been smearing it all over ur hands and face. That would suck if u went to jail because of that. And it turned out to just be a paper cut but the cops thought u killed someone or tried to commit suicide or something. I wish i could sing. If i could, id bust some tunes out just randomly. Like… at starbucks. Just be like BAM! Im singing and im good. What r u gonna do about it? Ya know, a lot of people ask me how i can be so funny. And i tell them, i just let my thoughts flow through me freely ya know? Im like a big vessel of imagination. Ok… so no one actually asks me how i can be so funny. But i know they think it. I can vibrate my hand, which comes in handy for those minigames on Mario party where u have to tap "a" really fast. Like whenever i play with friends, 2nd and 3rd place is always like 150 taps and 120 taps. But i get like 500! Feel free to tell me how amazing that is. I need new portable speakers for my mp3 player. Mine are weak. I can barely hear them. Who could say no to free food (besides anorexic people)? Its getting harder to make people laugh these days. So ive resorted to lacing people's food with lsd before i tell a joke, and i pray that when their not high, that they don't think back on the joke and say, "hm… that wasn't even funny. Why did i laugh?" Like like like like totally I do love a good chuck norris joke. I heard this good one once. I didn't come up with it. I wish i had. It goes: If chuck norris has 5 dollars and you have 5 dollars; chuck norris has more money than you. Eqanrobiungopaw4enopawnioupvbnawophogp If i was black… i wonder what i would have done with all the time i spent trying to get a tan today. Your brother in humor, -Adam Drennan (a.k.a. 50 perCENT) | | |
| Prom is coming up. we are all excited. so im not going to go into much detail there because just about every cda blog ever looks like this "omgsh prom is coming. woah woah woah. im going to wear this and this and this and..." yeah so im not going to bore you. i dont know if anyone has noticed, but my mypsace page seems to have taken on a james bond theme. first i put my new profile picture up which was just... my retarded "model shot" that is a picture of me staring at either my hands or the floor. and now i put up the james bond theme song on the piano. its starting to get that feel. im thinking i should change my background from talladega nights to something more 007 ish. by the time u read this it might already be up. TFD: i heard someone say "the cats outa the bag" yesterday. and it made me think... who keeps a cat in a bag? i mean thats just cruel. it could suffocate in there. and i hope u dont like that bag buddy, cuz do u know what cats do when u put them in tiny enclosed spaces and they get scared? yeah, they forget all about potty training. plus, what if u accidentally switch your bag with another persons bag (like people always do in the movies). ur going to end up with a laptop and some poor fellow is going to try to check his email on your calico. to be honest, im fed up with these strange expressions. like "well i certainly have my share of skeletons in my closet." seriously? why would u keep a skeleton in your closet in the first place? and whats with skeletons anyways? little kids are usually scared of things like monsters and other sorts, but how did skeletons become a scary thing that lurks around at night in haunted houses? I mean… its part of the human body. Its probably just looking for its skin. Not trying to scare people. How awesome would it be to have the last name "right"? it's the ultimate pickup line. Hello, my name is mister right, i believe you've been looking for me? A radio commercial pointed this out to me. Birthday greeting cards are the perfect way to let that not-so-special someone know that u know its their birthday… but u just don't care. Good ways to be late for your flight (going through airport security):
wear a turban
wear nothing
claim that metal detectors are against your religion
pretend to be holding something in your mouth
pretend to be holding something in your pants
pretend to be pants
rub flower on your face
label your suitcase with "CAUTION - explosives"
nervously try to convince security that you work for a box-cutter manufacturer
put a toy gun in your suitcase
put a toy knife in your suitcase
put a real gun and knife in your suitcase (warning - may cause incarceration) This sounds pretty funny to me now… but ill read this tomorrow and think its crap. When i was a child, i wanted to be a standup comedian. I still consider myself a child. Id make a pathetic comedian, but it would be a heck of a lot more fun than any other profession i can think of. Once, i was putting on my shoes, and a chunk of mud fell out of them and landed in my throat forcing me to swallow it. It was gross. I was sick for 2 days after that. (i think i was holding the shoe in the air while i was lying down. Do do DO dooooo do do doooooo (james bond theme song) Two things i ponder in life:
1. will i ever understand girls?
2. How in the world does cici's pizza make any profit? -Adam (a.k.a. 50 perCENT) | | |
| Yeah so the first few days of my break were amazing! i got to hang out with some of my best friends ever, enjoyed the freedom of not doing homework, and THEN came monday. ah yes monday. something this monday came at me like a hawk at an 8 year old boy's new baby hamster. BOREDOM! ah yes, u know her well. Playing super smash brothers alone and watching episodes of scrubs without company… well… theres something really depressing about it. I started to devise a plan, to eradicate my boredom. But it involved plutonium and four thousand copies of the "win a date with tad hamilton" dvd, and that's just expensive. So ive resorted to writing a blog. TFD: i believe in evolution - *shocked faces everywhere* "WHAT?!" you say, "Adam!!! You're a Christian!!!" yeah shutup, i know. I didn't mean physical evolution. Geeze will you let me finish my freagin rant before you barge in with your cries of anger!? As i was saying before i was RUDELY interrupted, i believe in evolution, the kind involving trends in culture. Yes, we have the aristocratic socialite, to the business-oriented bachelor, to the swingin jazz crowd, to the disco dudes, to the hippies, to the punk rockers, and the gangstas, and the preps, and the rockers. But my theory has one CRUCIAL problem. Emos. YES! EMOS! They defy survival of the popular… est. theyre miserably sad, scary, and wear itchy scarves in the summer! Im amazed that they haven't died out. they have boggled my mind as i have studied different trends throughout history. The point of different trends and lifestyles (i had previously thought) was to express feelings and tastes that ultimately increased the level of happiness in ones life. Not to increase gloom! I cant wrap my mind around it! (i am including this here so i am not attacked by wild emos in a dark ally. I am not referring to all people involved in emo culture. I am referring to those who perfectly emulate this stereotype and should therefore not be attacked by your kind) My dogs keep getting fatter and fatter, but im not worried. Eventually, they'll get too fat to walk (their limbs will be engulfed in their own fat), and that will not allow them to eat. After not eating for a while, they will lose weight, and the fatty super fat cycle shall repeat. I have a newfound love for irish dancing. grammar is for losers. Oh so i took two clep tests recently. One was college algebra. It was so easy. I passed it with flying colors (whatever that means). THEN! I took biology. Ok its pretty deceiving. I walk in and begin to take this test right? Theres a freaking tutorial on how to use a mouse. Just let that one sink in. if youre too stupid to know how to use a mouse, you shouldn't be taking a clep test. But then, i begin this bio test… oh… my… goodness… i was humiliated like the little boy who burps during the prayer in a church that easily echoes. They were asking me questions that had answers i couldn't pronounce. So i just chose the answers i could read. You need a 50 at least to place out of a biology course in college. I got… A 48!!!!!!! TWO POINTS AWAY FROM PASSING! You can imagine my anger. I went home and i had a boxing match with my pillow. It was a close match. The pillow won )-: I want to buy a pit bull and name it fluffy. The average life span of a pig is 16 minutes. I have a stapler with the ability to also remove staples. Where do mechanical pencils go when they run out of eraser? this blog entry deserves kudos -Adam Drennan (aka 50 perCENT) | | |
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